(i’ve been) C R E A T I N G (a lot)

Greetings lovelies !

Lately I have been absent from making blog posts and i feel sorry for abandoning this blog. However, the happiness that results from the time away from this blog blocks the regret. The time that I should’ve spent for this blog was consumed by sweaty process of filming and late-night editing for my second YouTube channel. Whoaaa , yes, lovelies,

I have another YouTube channel.

This other YouTube channel is a creative outlet for me. I made the decision to make that channel because I love brainstorming, visioning, learning new ways to film and edit, most importantly though, i love telling stories and that channel is a great media to share it with.

I would not have made the channel had I not found WONDERFUL AND UNIQUE CREATORS on YouTube such as New Age Creators, Grimbleism, Chase vs. Everything, DreamOnMaddie,

I’ve made a couple of videos there. Even though the editing and filming style are very different, I essentially tried my best to tell stories. For me, I don’t feel like i have to worry about getting views or maintaining my style because I want to explore first, i want to learn first. When i have a certain story to tell, it doesn’t have to have the same style because that’d be boring. Every story is different. If I feel like a certain story is better to be told in a quirky way, i will. If i feel like another story has to be told without talking portion, or without music, or with stop motion, or whaaaatever, i will.

Here are few stories I’ve shared :

1 . SELF IMAGE  2016

( watch here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtEiTadBBk0 )

This is my very first video and it is a recreation of a post that was originally on this blog. Read it here. One day i just thought, if i want to make my YouTube channel “happen” in 2016, this is it. This is the idea, the start, the (slightly pretentious) introduction to me. And it did keep me going.

 

2. HOW TO HELP CURE SOMEONE ELSE’S BAD DAY

(WATCH HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz9kQCcw25U )

This video came about when my sister was having a really bad day and so I tried to help by doing these things.

3 . MY VERY FIRST JOURNAL

(Watch here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz9kQCcw25U )

This is a video that is personal to me. My journals are very close to my heart but i was quite afraid sharing it to the world, but i thought i should because sharing this will probably help someone or inspire someone to make a journal. (It’s not like the whole world actually cares what i say)

In this video, I shared about how journalling has helped me to go through tough time and look back to see how far i’ve gone

Reading my first journal

4.  IN THE DARK

( Watch here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8UNwkSPi6I )

Now this is a very interesting video that i wished I spent more time with the editing.

I didn’t have a concept at first. I shot some clips in the dark for the sake of experimenting with the camera and shadows and low light. I thought the outcome was going to be a video with heavy topic or whatever. But , uh, nope.

 

a very experimental sort of vid in low light hehe

 

THERE ARE A LOT MORE NEW VIDEOS  ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I’M DOING VEDA (VIDEO EVERY DAY IN APRIL )

Check it out if you will 😀

 

 

Self-Image 2016

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Self-image 2016 (1)

I originally found this “self-image” project on YouTube from Emily Diana Ruth (whom I love with all my heart) and I have been wanting to do it. This post is supposed to go early in the year but the Lunar New Year has just passed, so i thought this is still relevant 🙂

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selfimage

I am…

diamond A daughter of Christ and two admirable, hardworking couple

diamond A bigger but shorter sister

diamond A cousin to M A N Y 

diamond A granddaughter who, sadly, can not carry a conversation with her grandparents further than three sentences because of language gap. (This needs to change, but for now, this is still the truth.)

I am …

diamond A lazy ambitious

diamond An anxious I N T R O V E R T 

diamond A L O V E R  of tea, noodles, good books, the internet, car rides, evening walks and rainy days

self-image2016

diamond An observer of people but a V E R Y B A D conversation starter

diamond Not ashamed to confess my love for Taylor Swift and B L A C K and W H I T E clothing items

I am…

diamond A student , but honestly, i like the word L E A R N E R better

diamond struggling to tackle the last few months of high school – exam by exam – while holding my sanity and soul at the same time (it’s not a fair fight)

I am ..

diamond Young. That means a lot of things. Problematic and blissful things.

diamond Trying to not let my limitations to hold me back from the people I ought to meet, the things I ought to do and the places I ought to go.

Last but not least, i am..

diamond Grateful of my everything. This includes my bad eyesight, my anxious mind, and my body. I am grateful, for what they are. How could i not be? 🙂

I am Hanna Bella, and this is me, in 2016.

 

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I have a question for you? How do you see yourself in 2016? I hope you will choose happy and beautiful, because you are

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Letter to younger me: Kevin

Letter to younger me : Kevin

Hi

My 12 years old me

Basically, I ‘m older than you, because you are me but in younger version…. 

Well, how do you do? Moving to new school, eh? I know it’s hard, you have to adapt again, get distract from your pal, and blah blah blah but anyway you have to through it, don’t you?

Here some memes I made especially for you :

dce03fbf-2b90-44da-b1d4-3466da4c1a0c 61734443-2135-47d8-aff0-c731a08e579f 64379dcd-e4ac-456d-ad16-3b46f2c6ad74 6525f5de-3a01-4955-b85a-46fcb1ab7bb5 907e0e62-7320-4f0d-9783-7768b7216188

I’m kidding.

Aside from this little joke, truth be told, I am greatly dissapointed by you.

Because … You are a c*cky brat who thinks you can beat anyone at any subject. You are more arrogant than me (now), you think grades always represent future? that ain’t true. The future lies in how you develop yourself, how you associate, and many things. Grades are only to measure how good are you at some subjects. So stop thinking that good grades will guarantee 100% a good life. That’s very narrow-minded. The world is cruel dude, they don’t care how good you are in junior high school. They care about how rich you become.

Anyways, I always think of how naïve you are. How you think that justice is important. How you want to be a hero. But i am proud that you made it through rough junior high school life without cursing, cheating, or lots of other problems. You are innocent. Well, not that “innocent”. i think. 

Despite all of that,

I love you. And what you are will become what i am and that is one of the reasons why.

A bit of advice.

Just be yourself, don’t let people judge you.

It’s pretty hard to become nice guy in this rough world. But i hope you enjoy your life .

 

Sincerely

 

You in 5 years to come. 

p.s. don’t be c*cky you sh*tty brat

 

dividerThis letter was written by a rather hard-but-funny-to-explain-how-we-became-friends friend called Kevin. He is…  a “single” 17 years old boy who is figuring out what he is gonna do next in life aside from eating ,sleeping,and going to the bath. (totally his words). I was happy to have him around and contribute to Hazy Sunday yeaaay. We can see that it’s an angsty and funny letter he got here. Tell me if you have similar experience with Kevin. in the comments.

 

——->>> Find Kevin on jn_kevin14 in intagram.

 

See you on Sunday, Signature

 

Letter to a younger me : Amadea

Letter to younger self : Amadea

A letter to younger me

Dear 2010 Dea,

Hello! How has it been for you? The world seems so nice to me this year (2015). YEP! SO MUCH BETTER! You don’t need to worry anymore, and don’t you dare to think that you are not useful and not capable of doing anything special. Everybody is given their own unique talents, and you have yours; always keep that in mind. What you were praying for all the time has come true!  I’m so happy to tell you this amazing news! Guess what? Your prayers are answered.

Read more

Letter to younger me : Vania

lettervania

Dear 12 years old version of me,

As I am writing this, I am in euphoria -being accepted to represent my uni for newbies debating competition next week in UB, Malang, Indonesia. Yeayy hahaha.

Debating, yes, u might not be familiar with that but trust me, you’ll loveee it.

It’s funny right how much things have changed in the last 5 years.

I wish I had people to tell me that i don’t have to do what everyone else is doing, that I do not need to please people to become my friends just because of the insecurity of being alone.

As you grow up, you’ll realize one great idea; quality over quantity. You always think that having many friends to hang out with, or simply being familiar with a lot of people is awesome, but it’s not , dearie. At least It’s not the number that matters. Once you find people who are compatible with you, keep them, keep them close. For, those kind of people are really hard to find. Anyway, now I spend like, lots of time alone –being alone is not that bad. Being alone makes me even more productive. Not that I do not like the idea of togetherness -sometimes i get lonely too, sometimes i think I’m really miserable, but rather than being even more miserable as a misfit in some community, i am more comfortable alone. 

Read more

Best Books of 2015

BEST BOOKS 15

In this post i am going to list best young adult books i read in 2015 (and psstt.. some bonus bookish “best” lists). Just, a little note here before we start, these books are the ones that read in 2015 regardless of their publication dates, though, some were published in 2015.I also tried REALLY hard not to be repetitive for the list. BUT, well, some series stuck with me… Sorry about that. Okay.. Let’s go)

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Letter to younger me | Salman

Last time, we received letter from me and thadea. This Sunday, you’re about to read a letter to my friend- Salman’s younger self.

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Dear Salman,

You’re probably wondering who the heck sent you a letter from 2015? Well it’s me. Or it’s you? It’s us I guess. Or is it just me? Well, it’s you from the future. Freaky huh?

Anyway.

Hey. What’s up?

Nevermind, you don’t need to answer that. I know exactly what you’re going through. New school, new town, new home. If I remember correctly, things haven’t been going according to your favor. You’re lost trying to find yourself.  You’re confused, embarrassed, angry. Just trying to understand and sort it all out. There might even come a time when you feel uncared for, to the point where you just want to blame your parents, situation, and even God for everything that you’re going through. That’s understandable. But take it from me, you’re wrong. So don’t be such a brat about it. Especially to mom. She is going through heavier things than you could ever imagine. So please, just support her. Don’t blame God either. He’s got a big plan for you. He wants to build you, strengthen you. I understand that what you’re going through and what you will be going through is unpleasant, but honestly, looking back on it all, I wouldn’t want it any other way. So stay strong and believe in a brighter tomorrow.

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A letter to younger me | Thadea

Last Sunday, i made a letter to a younger me (here).

I had this idea to ask my friends to do the same thing and they all agreed. So, from now on there is going to be a new post for “Letter to younger me” series on Hazy Sunday.

This sunday it’s from Thadea- my long lost friend.

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hi 12 y.o me, this is the 17 y.o you.

so,
what do you expect from me?

a sexy self with a lovey dovey romance life on high school?

me as a smart-ass?

being the famous ones?

know what?

NONE OF THEM HAPPENED.

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A letter to younger me | Hanna

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LETTER TO YOUNGER ME | HANNA

Dear 2010 Hanna,

              As i am writing to you right now, i am listening to indie songs that you don’t know exist. But you will, and you will loove it. Hehe.

            Anyway.. how are you?I hope you are doing great. I am having, so-far, the best and the most terrifying year of my life. I can spoil you all the good and bad things that happened but that would not be fun for you so right now, my lips are sealed. Tease.. i know.. sorry…

             Just so you know, there are better and worse days than that first day when you had to step into that cold lobby of a new school. Don’t you think i remember how you paced around feeling so lost? So excited ? I do remember. Though, i don’t feel as excited as you were to be stepping to that lobby again and again and again for almost six years now but i still feel lost in that same familiar classroom, that same familiar lobby sometimes.

          I guess a million things have changed but another million stay the same

             I should tell you a couple of things i’ve learnt from the five years i’ve grown.

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Wearing crop-top to bed?

This post has … very little thing to do with crop top to be honest.

But, keep reading…

Here’s a picture of me last night when i was about to type my first blog post (and a Taylor Swift photo with the same top ha ha ) :

blogpost

Last night, I wore this supposed-to-be crop-top to bed. By “to bed” it means, to move my laptop from the desk to bed to watch YouTube videos* more comfortably. In real life, the crop top falls below my belly button, so it’s more like a too-short t-shirt. But that’s not a thing. So i still call it a crop-top. It has this cat print which looks EXACTLY LIKE TAYLOR’S. It’s honestly why i bought the too short t-shirt in the first place.
I rarely wear it outside because it has a weird neckline that tend to slide off my shoulders –so uncomfortable. Every time i think about how insignificant the use of this shirt in my life, i regret the choice of buying it. Nevertheless, when i saw this t-shirt unworn in my wardrobe i felt sorry for it. After wearing it for the first time in such a long while, i realised while it might not be a solid piece to wear for a day-out, it was still a good piece of clothing to sleep in so ..  i did wear a crop-top to bed last night and it was comfortable enough for me. It’s weird to feel the air brushing the skin of my lower ab when i lied down, but i felt less sorry for buying it.

Why am i talking about cat crop-top and other insignificant stuff from last night?

Because i am terrified. I am that kind of person who is intimidated by a blank page. I planned to write an originally more meaningful post last night. However..  instead of typing, I found myself staring at the blank page for such a long unblinking while. In result, my eyes grew tired and i went to sleep instead.

 

The first step is the hardest.

I thought that when people wanted to do stuff, they would have to do it with a BANG!  – That go big or go home kind of thing. So i was afraid that my first post would set the tone of my blog posts for the rest of my blog’s life.( If it sucks, the rest will suck. If it’s good, the rest will be good. )
I was afraid of making that first step. Of course, i did not acknowledge it openly. I denied it by going to pinterest to get more inspirations or tips from the pro. I was always reading other peoples’ blogs to learn from them, or brainstorming tons of posts – all the things except writing the actual post.
I was afraid that i will mess up the grammar and people will hate me for it. Or, i will look so unprofessional or unintelligent.

I realised how stupid my fear was

  1. It’s a personal blog / I don’t have to sound professional. If i mess up the grammar then, so what, i will have the edit button to correct it later.
  2. Nobody will probably read my first post anyway so i don’t really have to worry.
  3. Not every thing in my life is that exciting so my posts will not always be perfect so i have to embrace that.
  4. From reading so many articles about “professional blogging” i lost my initial purpose of making my blog, which was for me.. for myself.. for my enjoyment, my experience, whateeeeveeer i want.
  5. Practice makes perfect. As i grow, my blog will grow. If i don’t start, i will not get better.
I have this wall of quotes in my bedroom where i rip some goodies from magazines and plaster them on the wall. It’s the first thing i see in the morning and the last at night. I looked at it this morning and saw these helpful quotes.
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If it scares you it might be a good thing to try

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The secret to getting ahead is to get started – Mark Twain

Here i am giving myself a bit of push by making the first not-so-prepared blog post so i don’t have to face the blankness, or take the hard first step with a SPECTACULAR post about life. You know what i mean?
 
I’m ending this blog post with a hope that you can bravely start what you’ve always wanted despite the possibility of failing.If there is any advice i can give you is : try not to buy stuff only because your idol wears it too… 
Have a good Sunday.
Hanna hey
(*Wanna know what i watch: I watched every videos i’ve been missing from Jenn Im (clothesencounter), i liked everyone of them, especially this new holiday vlog series of here called JENNGLEBELLS)